Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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