the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
