What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
