lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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