he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
