I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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