I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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