My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize