I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
