Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
