I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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