Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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