I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
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I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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