i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
