I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
