we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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