we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Rumble strips road head = magical
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
