She's JV to your varsity
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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