I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
