I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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