He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Even my vagina gasped.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
