i think my mom watched the whole time
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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