There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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