I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
