just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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