He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
