Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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