this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
