I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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