that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
