My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize