I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
