hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
