There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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