He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize