I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
