I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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