My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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