Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
