Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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