Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
