mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we're making bets on your personal life
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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