I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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