Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
