nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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