haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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