Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize