i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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