somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I didn't shave. On purpose
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
