you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
