I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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