Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
