its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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