hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
