Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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