I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
then he tried to convert me to islam
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
