I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
