Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
