is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
