It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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