remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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